Why are we discontent?

Why are we discontent?  This is a question I've often asked myself.  Is it anxiety over the future?  Is it perhaps from past experiences that remain unresolved?  Some employ practices such as mindfulness, meditation, any prayer to overcome this feeling.  A conscious focus on the present moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.  A willingness to surrender to God that which we cannot control.  A breath of fresh air.  Trusting that God knows all and has a plan for us.  I find relief in these practices and beliefs, but I still question.  It is engrained in my nature.  

Like any good parent, God doesn't want His children to worry.  "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14:27).  God wants peace for us because He loves us.  He also wants us to love.  "And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 22:37-40).  Peace and love...maybe the hippies were on to something.

According to 1 Corinthians 13:7, "love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."  In other words, love is trust.  In the dictionary, trust is defined as "assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something."  Therefore, if I love, I trust.  Then why do we still feel discontent and question things?  Is it a lack of faith or is it in our nature?  Consider it is the latter.  If it's in our nature, than there is a purpose for it.  Perhaps we question because we want a better life for ourselves.  "When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too" (The Alchemist).  If we're always striving to become better than we are, then we must question.  So, maybe being discontent is God's way of telling us we need to strive to become better.  If that is the case, than we cannot simply accept the status quo.  Action is required.

At the Emmet Fox Retreat this past weekend, we were asked if we'd take the red pill or the blue pill. "The red pill and blue pill represent a choice between the willingness to learn a potentially unsettling or life-changing truth by taking the red pill or remaining in the contented experience of ordinary reality with the blue pill."  If the red pill represents the truth, then in some way, the blue pill represents lies, or at least the omission of the truth.  If we choose the blue pill, we no longer strive to become better.  Therefore, we no longer love. 

Knowing this, what would cause someone to choose the blue pill?  Fear comes to mind.  A fear of the unknown.  A fear that the truth might hurt too much or cause us to suffer.  But life inevitably involves suffering.  So do we willfully suffer, or live in a lie?  “Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity" (The Alchemist).  

Taking the red pill means we do not accept the status quo.  It means we want to lift the blinders from our eyes and see the truth, whether it hurts us or not.  Obviously, we don't want to suffer or hurt, so we do the best we can to prepare for the unknown.  As Jordan Peterson explains in his book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, order represents the known, while chaos represents the unknown.  Consider the Yin Yang.  One half is black and the other white.  One is chaos and one is order.  The two dots on either side represent the potential for transformation.  Peterson states that one cannot live in just order or just chaos.  Peterson states that "order is not enough. You can’t just be stable, and secure, and unchanging, because there are still vital and important new things to be learned. Nonetheless, chaos can be too much. You can’t long tolerate being swamped and overwhelmed beyond your capacity to cope while you are learning what you still need to know. Thus, you need to place one foot in what you have mastered and understood and the other in what you are currently exploring and mastering. Then you have positioned yourself where the terror of existence is under control and you are secure, but where you are also alert and engaged. That is where there is something new to master and some way that you can be improved. That is where meaning is to be found."  Essentially, one can consider the blue pill as order and the red pill as chaos.  The red pill (chaos) is the unknown that causes fear of suffering.  The blue pill (order) is that which is already known.  According to Peterson, we need both order and chaos in our lives if we are to grow and improve.  As such, it is our duty, in my reasoning, to select the red pill, since we cannot simply remain in ignorance if we are striving to improve our lives.  He goes on to state that "You are by no means only what you already know. You are also all that which you could know, if you only would. Thus, you should never sacrifice what you could be for what you are. You should never give up the better that resides within for the security you already have—and certainly not when you have already caught a glimpse, an undeniable glimpse, of something beyond.” 

God is mysterious.  He talks to us in various ways.  When we feel God's presence and He sends us a message, it often requires us to have faith and trust that what He is telling us is the right path.  This communication from God is the undeniable glimpse of something beyond.  Therefore, for those of us who have faith that God is guiding us on the right path, we can never sacrifice our greater potential for our current state of being.  

"Always place your becoming above your current being" (Jordan Peterson).  

We must not settle.  I was taught in the Marine Corps that when building a defense against your enemy, "position improvement is continuous."  This standard can be applied to life.  Our self-improvement must be continuous.  But, we cannot improve unless we take risks.  Taking risks is scary because the outcome may be detrimental.  This is why we must be well established on the side of Order before we can venture into Chaos.  That means mastering what we already know.  It means we use our experience and knowledge to approach a new and unfamiliar challenge. 

Perhaps when we feel discontent it is because we yearn for meaning and purpose.  But if we love, then we strive for improvement in our lives, which in turn improves everything around us, including the lives of others.  This requires us to have faith, to trust, and to willingly place one foot into chaos where we can face new challenges and experience life without fear.  Trust in God.  Face the chaos with open arms.  Take the red pill.

 

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  • Our self-improvement must be continuous.  But, we cannot improve unless we take risks.  Taking risks is scary because the outcome may be detrimental.  This is why we must be well established on the side of Order before we can venture into Chaos-

     

    If I knew what was going to happen around the next bend,  what would I need to seek God about.   If I don't have a foundation built on Gods Love and Guidance-  I will be back in my own chaos and misery.    God gives me strength to go knock on doors I can't see behind but he Gives Me His Peace when I am doing it.   

    When I was living in the darkness of my own Chaos I had a bunch of discontent and no tools to seek anything better.  I was sitting in this way of living and wouldn't change my mind because what I was doing brought me Peace for fleeting moments.  
    i lived Groundhogs Day.

    When I put my Dads house up for sale, I had no clue where I was gonna live after that- I had no plan.   But God provided a way for me.   He put Great friends in my life to help me along this process.

    i once walked into a global company on Madison Avenue in New York City and  after 10 mins of me processing the fear of " should i go in?" Will I get stopped before I make it to the office" all these fears crept in.    But I made it all the way to the office and even talked to the GM.

    I feel it's ok  to seek more wisdom and seek more improvement on myself so I can help others and share Gods Love.
    it may be scary to take risks and  just go for the ride of what's down the road I can't see.   By having God and great mentors and These Retreats it helps me to go through the Choas and have more Harmony inside and have more Peace inside to handle when life is getting rocky.   For me I've been through those uncomfortable t situations where I couldn't see the outcome and the Fear would be paralyzing but then I leaped and took a chance and it all works out.  I try to remember that God had my back the whole time.  Even when I was in my own Chaos.

     

    Thanks Dave for helping me  today! 

  • When I have accomplished my goal and celebrated the accomplishment discontentment sets in. It is in our DNA to create. If we are not improving ourselves or the world around us, we will be discontented.

    If the Olive tree is not producing any fruit cut it up and throw it in the fire. It has outlived its usefulness.

  • Thank you for the post Dave!  The below stood out for me:


    This is why we must be well established on the side of Order before we can venture into Chaos.  That means mastering what we already know.  It means we use our experience and knowledge to approach a new and unfamiliar challenge. 

    In doing my step work and working with a sponsor and other men of faith and integrity, I began to build a solid foundation.   In AA when we finish step 5 it asks us to check our work, have we omitted anything, are the stones properly in place, have we skimped on the cement for the foundation?  Are we trying to make mortar without sand?  In other words, am I well established?  If so I can continue, or "step into the chaos" 🙂. 

    • Bob, thanks so much for this! You are so spot on!

  • Wow, Dave, that was excellent!! And a lot to unpack, so I'm still processing. I know for me, the red pill was the only option 15 1/2 years ago when my life came to a crashing halt. The blue pill worked as long as it did, and I think if it kept working I would have just kept going, sliding under the radar, not taking risks and not embracing the chaos that you speak of. I like what that author had to say about the only way to grow is through order and chaos, I can attest to that. So for the past 15 years it's been a back and forth from red to blue. Some days, I'm like, "I just want to relax dammit". But because of these retreats, my mentor, and ultimately God, I choose to take risks, I choose to change and choose to become better in all my affairs. It's incredible when I think about it, because I never knew my life would move in this direction. We are blessed. In Dr. Seuss's book, "Oh the places you'll go", he talks about the waiting room. He says most people are in the waiting room. The waiting room to me, plain and simple means that most people are just going through the motions of life waiting to die. It's sad. They inadvertently take the blue pill because they fear the red pill and what that would do to their lives. Little do they know(and as we see in the Matrix) that at some point, we will be forced to take the red pill. And when we do it is scary as ANYTHING!! But then life starts to change, we start to grow and experience the promises, and then we help others with our journey, and more and more amazing and wonderful things start to happen. This also ties in Emmet Fox's chapter, "Worm get ideas". Fascinating how so many things tie in together and how this whole past weekend was so interconnected. I love awakening to God's beautiful orchestration. 

    • Daryn, thanks so much for reading, and thanks for everything you said! It really touched me. We certainly are blessed!

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