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Whether we do good or bad, people will always talk; what matters the most is what you choose to listen to and why you choose to listen to it. Basing our decision-making on what people will say is no way to live because that means you can easily be swayed. We all want to be considerate; we want to make our loved ones proud and happy, and we do not want to be known as selfish, but where do we draw the line. We sacrifice so much and miss out on life because other people’s opinions about our lives matter. Think of all the things you have wanted to do, but you never got around to doing because of the fear of being judged and having people talk about you. So do you and stop worrying about what others think of you.

Being you sounds easy on paper, but you need to know who YOU are for it to work. Being the you that is an individual and not affected by groupthink, the you that is passionate about being alive and living life on your terms, is not easy. You need to define who you are and what you think your purpose is in the world and cancel out the noise that comes from other people. Once you know exactly who you are and what you want out of life, it becomes easy to do you. If you listen to everyone’s opinion of who you are supposed to be, you will drown in the river of confusion that becomes your life. On the journey to doing you, you will need to look into why other people’s opinions have a hold over you. Introspection will shed light on why you do not want to be your person. It will bring to light the co-dependence and all the things that you are afraid to face.

We all want to be there for our loved ones, we want to be called a good friend, sister, or partner, and we dishonor ourselves for our loved ones. We forget about the resentment that comes with trying to please everyone but ourselves. We forget about the regret that follows and how that will rob us of peace of mind. We spend so much time focusing on the external noise that constantly tells us what needs to be done, and we forget about the internal roar that we notice when it is too late. The problem with focusing on the external noise is you forget about yourself. You forget about your needs and wants and what you should be doing with your life. You then get external noise and no peace when you are on your own because you are neglecting yourself.

Peace. That is the price we pay for forgetting about ourselves and focusing on other people’s opinions of us. Many of us are not even familiar with what peace is because we have never experienced it. From the time we are teenagers, we want to fit in, we want people to accept us, and we do what is necessary to fit in. We move in packs being the social beings we are, and try to follow the status quo. We toe the line, and often the opinions of other people are what will imprison us.  Liberation from these prisons is where we need to free ourselves. The price we pay for peace is simply being our most authentic selves and following our heart’s desire. When we focus on ourselves, we break the cycle of turning into the people whose opinions imprison others.

People who spend their time worrying about what others think of them become people who talk about others. When you spend your time people-pleasing and do not live your life, you focus on people who live their lives. Then you begin to judge people for doing what you failed to do, which is to live life on your terms. People that are courageous enough to take up space in the world and do what matters to them are a bother to you, and you talk about them. How dare they go against the grain and forge their paths. You look at these people with contempt.

The cycle must be broken. We must focus on living our lives and free other people from our opinions. Spend time doing what you love with people that you care about and do not become a stumbling block in other people’s journey. To aspire to live a peaceful life and mind your own business should be your motto in life. Focus on your own life and ensure that the loudest voice in your life is your voice.