Giving (3)

You may feel you are a caring and loving person. You give more of yourself than others give to you. While this may have worked well for you in the past, if you go too far with it, people may take advantage of you. Use this short guide to determine if you care too much.3184460683?profile=RESIZE_710x

You Always Take Phone Calls

If you are one who believes you must always answer the phone, this could be the first sign that you are caring too much. Sometimes you need a break from people, especially those who have excessive needs. It’s not that you don’t want to help or listen to what people say. It’s just that they will never stop calling if you continue to always be available for them. Make yourself less available. They will look for other ways to satisfy their overly needy emotions.

You Give Priority to Other Peoples’ Tasks

When a colleague at work approaches you to ask you to help them, do you ever suggest to them that you are busy? Or, do you stop your tasks to help them? If you stop your tasks regularly, you need to reevaluate why you are doing this. While you want to be a team player, you need to get your work done. You also need to let others know your work is important just as theirs is. Some people will also take advantage of having you do their work for them. You must reel in this situation. Your work will suffer otherwise.

You Are a Needy-People Magnet

If you find that overly needy people are approaching you frequently, this is a sign you care too much. You do want to help people whenever you can. But, when you set the environment where these people come to you for answers or to cry on your shoulders, they won’t look for ways to rectify their situations. They will keep coming to you for emotional support. This kind of support can hurt your emotional well-being.

When you recognize the signs of caring too much, you can take appropriate steps to reduce this behavior. You still want to help people whenever possible. But, you need to balance your own needs with theirs. Caring about others neediness too much will make your life unbearable. You will dread going to work, or if it is in your home, you may start using excuses to avoid going home. You shouldn’t allow that to happen, as your home is supposed to be your sanctuary.

If you found yourself in this article, you care too much in a negative way. The common denominator is expecting the people you help to repay you. If you take care of yourself and let the law of reaping what you sow repay you for your service to others, you can not care too much.

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It's a Long Long Way

A couple of months ago I ran across a video of Seasick Steve. One of the songs was "It's a Long Long Way".  He gave such a powerful performance. He is a giver. I have watched his videos since then. Bought a few of his CD's.  He is one of those performers who is better live. He is a showman that engages the audience not just with the feeling his words produce. His actions on stage bring the best out of people. 

His lyrics and actions make me reflect on my life and how I treat people. The little things he does that warm hearts. I watch for opportunities to make the people I pass in life feel good for having met me. When Steve performs his song "Walking Man" he shows how to make someone feel good for having met him.  We can all do this in our own lives. Everyone has a cross they must bear. What can I do to make that cross easier to carry. Somedays it is holding a door. Somedays it is buying them a meal. Somedays it is listening to them. The opportunities are endless. I have people come back to me 15 years later and tell me the little bit of time I spent with them meant so much to them.

I grab these chances to bring these moments to others, for these four reasons.

  1. I know how much it meant.
  2. I am repaying the debt I owe.
  3. I enjoy doing it.
  4. I know that by so do this, I am ensuring that when needed again, someone will be there for me.

Reflecting on death has given me an outlook on life, that I cherish. I believe that the only thing you take with you when you leave this life is what you have given away. I have never given what will happen at my funeral service any thought. I always thought whoever is left will do what comforts them. Until now, Seasick Steve sings the song "It's a Long Long Way". When I heard the song, I thought that is going to be played at my funeral service. 

 This is the version that I want played.

It's a Long Long Way
Seasick Steve

It's a long, long way
'Cause I've been there before
It's a long, long way
And I've been there before
 
You prob'ly won't take no advice from me
I never took none myself, you see
It's just when you get older
You'd like to pass some on but nobody's listening
 
And it's a long, long way
'Cause I've been there before
It's a long, long way
And I've been there before
 
Why do we make the same mistakes
Year after year, tear after tear?
Just when we've learned a lesson or two
It's the time when our life's almost through
 
And it's a long, long way
'Cause I've been there before
It's a long, long way
And I've been there before
 
I ain't tryin' to be no saint
Shoot I ain't even often right
But I'm still here fightin' that good ol' fight
So the only thing I'll say
Don't give up on your dreams
Or they will give up on you
 
And it's a long, long way
'Cause I've been there before
It's a long, long way
And I've been there before
 
Thanks for takin' time to listen to an old man
Your time is a valuable thing
And I ain't tryin' to preach, I'm only passin' by
And I hope you like the song that I sing
 
And it's a long, long way
'Cause I've been there before
It's a long, long way
And I've been there before
And it's a long, long way
'Cause I've been there before
And I don't think I'm goin' there no more
 
Songwriters: WOLD STEVE GENE
It's a Long Long Way lyrics © BMG Rights Management (Uk) Ltd., UNIVERSAL - POLYGRAM INTL OBO SEASICK STEVE AS
 
What do you want to give? That will leave your mark when you are gone? It's a Long Long Way.
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