If you genuinely want to be your best you, to have a happy and healthy life, you need to learn the critical elements for creating healthy boundaries. Boundaries are being clear about what your limits are, and they are necessary to ensure you do not get overwhelmed by the demands of other people. Without limitations, you are likely to be overburdened, stressed, and resentful, and it is up to you to set and maintain your limits. You are responsible for your happiness and wellbeing. No one else can do it for you.
If you find it hard to say no, and it is affecting your wellbeing, you need to stop and recalibrate. Here are some critical elements for creating healthy boundaries:
- Know your limits
Knowing yourself is the key to building and maintaining your personal boundaries. Know your emotional, mental, and physical limits. Work out what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed and what feels right.
- Learn how to read your feelings
In assessing where your limits are, you will have felt a range of different emotions. Two basic emotions that signal that your boundaries are being crossed are resentment and discomfort. If you think you are being taken advantage of, not appreciated, or even being exploited, that is a sign you are being pushed beyond your boundaries, and it is time to reassert those boundaries and say no.
- Give yourself permission to enforce your boundaries
It is okay to say no. In fact, it is necessary for your self-respect to maintain your boundaries and refuse an unwelcome request. Quilt and self-doubt will be the two things you will wrestle with when staying true to yourself. Having clear boundaries and sticking to them is not selfish. In putting yourself first, you are ensuring that you will have the energy to do the things you want to do and be there for people when it is right for you.
- Be clear about what's up for negotiation
Know what you need to stay happy and healthy, whether it is your daily walk, a social get together, or alone time. Make it clear that these are non-negotiable parts of your regular schedule. Similarly, be clear that you will not host family parties, but you will contribute with food or drinks. Being clear and direct about your boundaries leaves no room for doubt, guilt, or leverage.
- Be direct
When you are clear about your boundaries, you do not need an excuse, a backstory, or a second party's approval. Be direct and leave it at that. You can be polite and kind about it, but in the end, it is okay just to say no and keep your boundaries strong.
This may look like an overwhelming task. Implementing the critical elements for creating healthy boundaries may be the hardest thing you ever do in your life. So give yourself the credit you deserve when starting this task of following the 5 points to creating healthy boundaries in your life. Having some that will keep you accountable to your boundaries is very helpful. Make a boundary that any success in implementing healthy boundaries is to be celebrated.
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