Change is a part of all of our lives. How we deal with change is often a determining factor in how happy and successful we are. Sometimes we get lucky, and change is gradual or even painless. Other times, change is hard, overwhelming, or downright scary. This kind of change will have a serious impact on our lives when we embrace it. How do we do that, though? Follow these nine tips to find out how. 

1. Make Change Normal

It would help if you changed your attitude about change in general. If you fear even the smallest change, how do you think you will react when changing is hard? Start fostering a more positive attitude towards change. Get used to embracing the easy changes in your life, so your mind is prepared for the hard ones.

2. Not Changing Is Just as Hard

Whenever change gets challenging or overwhelming, stop and make a list of what would happen if you didn't change. Quite often, the pain of not changing outweighs the comfort of not trying to change. If you need the motivation to change, imagine what would happen if you didn't. 

3. Bring a Friend Along

If you are struggling with making a significant change in your life, it can help to bring a friend (or more!) along for the ride. For example, maybe you haven't been able to change to a more healthy lifestyle. You might want to see if any of your friends are also struggling with this change. Doing it together will make things easier, and you will find yourself accountable to each other. 

4. What Can and Can't You Control?

If you are struggling because some massive change is brewing in your life, take some time to reflect. Think about what aspects of this change you can control and which parts are out of your hand. Once that is done, focus solely on the things you have control over. This way, you aren't wasting energy, and you are making sure this life transition will go as smoothly as possible. 

5. Keep a Journal

Journaling is an excellent way to deal with change, especially if you have struggled to deal with it. Journaling allows you a safe space to get all your thoughts and fears out. You will find that some of your trepidation dissipates when the concerns from your head are put on paper.

6. Trust Yourself

A lot of the reason people struggle to change is that they don't believe in themselves. They don't believe they deserve "good change," and they don't think they can handle any negative change. Work on boosting your self-esteem first,  then you will naturally be more open to change. 

7. Your Basic Needs Still Matter

When dealing with a significant change, or life transition, don't forget to take care of yourself. Some changes are so substantial that they are almost all-consuming, but you can't forget your most basic needs. Sleep, diet, and exercise shouldn't be tossed aside because you are too worried about change. 

8. Make a Plan

Change is often scary because it is the unknown. You might be comfortable in your life now, and you aren't sure what happens when things change. If that sounds like you, then make a plan. Creating a plan of action to deal with a specific change will make it easier for you to make that change when the time comes.

9. Failure Isn't The End

A lot of people find making a change hard because they fear failing. The way we feel about failure is because of the way we have been taught. It was all wrong. School rewarded an incorrect answer with a big “Red” checkmark. Is it any wonder that we fear making a mistake after that conditioning. Remember that those “Red” Checkmarks were only a gauge of our memorization skills. Now is the time to stop using a grading method for memorization and start using what does not give you your desired result as information to help formulate the next step towards your goal. Failure isn't an ending. It's merely a signal for you to try something different.

Action Steps:

1. Define the change. Think about the change that you are struggling to make. Clearly define what that change is. Be as specific as possible.
2. Why do you want to change? List all of the reasons that you want to make this change. Focus on the positives. What will this change improve in your life?
3. What if I don't change? Now list all of the negative outcomes if you don't make this change. How will it affect you? How will it impact the people you love?

I was talking to Todd today. This story came to mind. It helped me keep the course and not quit many a time. I thought I would retell it here for you. Maybe it will help you as it did me.

Once a little boy was playing outdoors and found a fascinating caterpillar. He carefully picked it up and took it home to show his mother. He asked his mother if he could keep it, and she said he could if he would take good care of it.

The little boy got a large jar from his mother and put plants to eat, and a stick to climb on, in the jar. Every day he watched the caterpillar and brought it new plants to eat.

One day the caterpillar climbed up the stick and started acting strangely. The boy worriedly called his mother who came and understood that the caterpillar was creating a cocoon. The mother explained to the boy how the caterpillar was going to go through a metamorphosis and become a butterfly.

The little boy was thrilled to hear about the changes his caterpillar would go through. He watched every day, waiting for the butterfly to emerge. One day it happened, a small hole appeared in the cocoon and the butterfly started to struggle to come out.

At first, the boy was excited, but soon he became concerned. The butterfly was struggling so hard to get out! It looked like it couldn’t break free! It looked desperate! It looked like it was making no progress!

The boy was so concerned he decided to help. He ran to get scissors and then walked back (because he had learned not to run with scissors…). He snipped the cocoon to make the hole bigger and the butterfly quickly emerged!

As the butterfly came out the boy was surprised. It had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. He continued to watch the butterfly expecting that, at any moment, the wings would dry out, enlarge and expand to support the swollen body. He knew that in time the body would shrink and the butterfly’s wings would expand.

            But neither happened!

The butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly…

As the boy tried to figure out what had gone wrong his mother took him to talk to a scientist from a local college. He learned that the butterfly was SUPPOSED to struggle. In fact, the butterfly’s struggle to push its way through the tiny opening of the cocoon pushes the fluid out of its body and into its wings. Without the struggle, the butterfly would never, ever fly. The boy’s good intentions hurt the butterfly.

As you go through school, and life, keep in mind that struggling is an important part of any growth experience. In fact, it is the struggle that causes you to develop your ability to fly.

As instructors, our gift to you is stronger wings…

via Butterfly Struggle Story

Image by smarko from Pixabay

Do you know how to accept the events in your life as they occur in your life? Do you have the power to make the changes in your life that will allow you not to take this life so serious? The people that can laugh at themselves are in more control of their lives and accomplish more in less time.

When you accept things as they are in life, both in other people and yourself, now you are in charge. With this new power, you can see how to better your personal life. Discovering who you are is a side effect of this new found power.

When we act the same way at all times, we have found our identity. Every day we experience emotions, thoughts, behaviors, actions, and these influences cause us to see the world a little different. Every day we experience something new, our personality will reflect these events.

 Find Yourself

The world we live in desensitizes us. We're surrounded by the influences on TV, in the media, on radio, in homes, government, schools, etc.  To each his own, but it is easy to see the flaws in them. Seeing these flaws takes no effort, which is why it is easy. We cannot alter their behaviors and way of thinking, but we may change ours. Our attitude is a component of learning and accepting the realities. The best way to take charge of your life is to become your influencer and let others influences make another person's life unserene.

As you accept yourself as you are, laughing at yourself will become normal. For example, if somebody makes you crazy, you will see the futility in getting upset over their actions.  You will be able to see the humor in your behavior if you make an error and feed into their stupidity. Once you begin to see the humor in life, you will feel better inside as you start to permit yourself to make mistakes. When you learn to change to better you, others might follow. Your conduct will be far more effective at changing others than words could ever accomplish.

 Become the Channel

As you grow, it will be like a snowball rolling down a hill. It will get bigger and bigger with every movement. New ways to improve your mental and physical health will pop into your mind on a regular basis. Before when these ideas came they were discounted. Now that you allow yourself to make mistakes you can take chances on these thoughts. In time as you begin to feel better, you will see a need to exercise, eat correctly, and hang out with positive influences and so on. Once you grasp this energy, putting forth the effort to achieve your goals will not be an effort.

Image by johnhain on Pixabay