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There is nothing worse than the creeping dread of failure. It doesn’t matter whether you failed in a relationship, missed out on a promotion, bombed an interview, or missed a deadline. Sometimes, it feels as though it’s the end of the world. It’s not, no matter how much you feel as though it is. And it is easy to fall victim to the failure and fall into a dark hole of depressions.  The most important step you can take after experiencing failure is to pick yourself up and dust yourself off.

How?

How can you possibly begin to pick yourself up after failure?

• Take Time For Healing

You won’t get over failure in a day. It’s quite literally a heartbreak. It’s okay if you don’t feel cheerful for a minute. It would help if you allowed yourself time to heal from your failure. You will reach a point where you realize the sting has worn off.

• Remember This

Without failure, there can be no success. If you desire success, then you have to come to terms with the fact that you will fail. It may take numerous attempts to achieve success. This is something you will need to remind yourself of regularly. When you run into a brick wall and feel as though you can’t overcome an obstacle, remember that without failure, there can be no success. If that scares you, then remember this – it’s that or you live your life littered with what-ifs. 

Failure is a lesson; it isn’t digging your grave. The only way to avoid it is to do nothing at all. It doesn’t bear thinking about.

• Learn the Lesson

The wisest thing that you can do after a failure is learning. You shouldn’t view failure as an excuse to quit. It should serve as your motivation to go again and avoid making the same mistakes. If you’ve ever played a video game, then you will know how you regenerate at a checkpoint and start the task again. That’s how you should view failure. You didn’t die. You’re back to square one. It’s frustrating, but you’re down, not out. Now, you can repeat your attempt, but now you have more knowledge and insight into how best to approach it.

• Accept Your Mistakes

You can’t afford to dwell on your mistakes. What you have to do is accept them. You’re going to want to beat yourself up about it, but that is dwelling on it. Instead, it would help if you accepted that mistakes happen, failure will occur, and it’s part of what will shape your success.

• Opportunity for Growth

This is a chance for growth so, put a positive spin on that failure. It’s your opportunity to re-evaluate your situation and look for new opportunities. 

• From Mistakes to Mastery

When you learn to accept your mistakes, you are unlocking the door to mastery. You are moving from mistakes to mastery. You’re learning more about your craft.

• Your Next Steps

Once you experience failure, you must determine your next steps. You can steer yourself to success when you are proactive. Make decisions and put them into action.

You aren’t the first person in the world to fail. You’re not the only person in your inner circle to fail. As much as it may feel as though the world is against you, it’s not. It’s easier to motivate yourself to move forward when you recognize that you’re not alone. It’s normal, and even the most successful people in history (and in the present) have experienced failure. They didn’t let it hold them back, why would you?

Self-care is becoming more popular than ever before. In fact, according to Apple, the most popular trend in apps in 2018 was around the subject of self-care (https://apps.apple.com/us/story/id1438571562). It isn’t just a trend, though. Sure, there will be people who show a keen interest in it now and then dismiss it further down the line. In reality, though, self-care is something that has always existed. We just didn’t coin the phrase and start talking about it until more recently. The reason for this is our inability to accept that self-care is not selfish.

There has been a shift in focus these days. We are now openly discussing mental health, addressing well-being, and talking about how we can do and be better. Once upon a time, neglecting your own needs to put others first was just expected. You can live in anxiety. You can deal with anger. You can take the blows to your self-esteem, you can do all of that because you’re busy looking after everyone’s needs. That’s just not the case. As you expose yourself to stress regularly, you are wearing your physical and mental health down. This doesn’t just increase your risk of anxiety, depression, and sleepless nights. It also influences the health of your heart. 

No wonder we are growing more accustomed to weighing the benefits of ignoring care versus practicing self-care. Unfortunately, self-care isn’t easy, and here are some of the obstacles you will likely face in your journey. 

Self-care can be especially tricky if you are just now getting aboard the train. It’s easier to forget about yourself than you care to admit. Your mind will start to tell you things like you’re low on energy, you’re short on time, and you have a lot on your plate. Even though these things are true, it is not the whole truth. You are low on energy and time with a long list of things to do because you do not practice self-care. You choose others, and you suffer as a result. It’s okay if it’s a one-time event, but the problem is it isn’t. This is a pattern of behavior, and it’s difficult to overcome. The hardest part of practicing self-care is making the time for it. You have to commit to it just as you do family life, just as you do work responsibilities. 

You have been neglecting yourself for years. You’d think you’re so hungry for it that anything would do. The problem is that a lot of us hold unrealistic expectations for our self-care journeys. This isn’t a magic pill that will solve all of your problems. However, if you are determined, you can influence your life for the better. Eating one healthy meal isn’t going to result in immediate weight loss. Studying briefly for a test isn’t going to ensure you pass the test. Applying for a job is not a guarantee you’ll secure the job. One music class won’t make you a classical pianist. You get the picture – self-care just isn’t a quick fix. 

You can’t jump to any conclusions where self-care is concerned. More importantly, what works for you might not work for someone else, and vice versa. You may find a hot bath relaxing, but the thought of a bath is hell for others. We have our interests, we have our own needs, and how we meet them will depend on our personality. There isn’t a single act of self-care either. There are endless possibilities.

One reason self-care isn’t easy is that we often don’t know ourselves well enough to get it right. It is impossible to meet your needs if you have no idea what your needs are. So, start by getting to know yourself a bit deeper. You can experiment with various self-care acts and find out what works for you. If it doesn’t work, don’t force it. Just keep searching until you find your self-care.

Anxiety is one of the toughest things to go through. It can turn your world upside down. Anxiety creeps up out of nowhere, and before you know it, it feels as though you’re being smothered. As time moves on, it gets so bad that you put yourself to bed, convinced you might not wake up. It’s debilitating. Anxiety can make you feel weak, it makes you feel embarrassed, and it doesn’t matter how hard you try to overcome it, your chest is heavy. The first step you need to take in your journey to manage anxiety is to accept it. You’re not weak. It isn’t embarrassing. So many of us suffer from anxiety. You’re not alone.

Through self-care, you can manage your anxiety to get yourself back to a point where you enjoy life. You’ll still have anxiety, your palms may still get sweaty, but you’ll have a better handle on it.

• Breathing is calming. It helps you feel as though you’re in control. To people with anxiety, that’s a powerful thing. If you’re at home, then you can lie somewhere quiet to do this. Now lie down and place one of your hands above your stomach and the other on your heart. Now, slowly breathe in through your nose, counting to seven. Now, breathe out through your mouth while counting to seven. You can repeat this exercise until you feel calmer. It’s good to practice this breathing exercise in a quiet place until you get the hang of it. Once you do get the hang of it, you can practice deep breathing anywhere.
• A journal is an excellent way to get a load off your mind. Write it all out.
• Find a positive affirmation or mantra that you can recite each morning. Your affirmation should be something that encourages a calm mindset. You can write out your mantra or affirmation and stick it up around the house or in your car. Wherever you will see it and feel inspired by it.
• It would be nice if you could disengage from every activity or situation that piques your anxiety. Unfortunately, that’s impossible. What you can do, though, is find helpful ways to manage situations you know trigger your feelings of anxiety. Pay attention to your physical response and find ways to avoid these situations. For the unavoidable situations, be aware of your breathing and navigate the situation as best you can. With practice, your anxiety will lessen.

The most influential act of self-care for people with anxiety is kindness. Be kind to yourself. Shield yourself from negative thought patterns, and when you have a terrible day – remember tomorrow is a brand new day. Create a daily routine that provides you with structure and purpose. Go out of your way to do things for yourself. You may enjoy walking through the woods. It might be reading a great mystery book or just soaking in a hot tub. It doesn’t matter what acts of self-care work for you. The point is that you complete acts that do work for you. You might not feel like getting up and going out for a walk, but once you do, you will feel much better.

• Lastly, visit your doctor. If your doctor recommends that you take prescription medication to manage your anxiety, then consider it. A holistic approach may require the use of some medication. Remember that medication is a tool like the tools mentioned in this article. No one but you can tell you if you need medication but you. Your doctor is there to guide you.

Your priority is to find self-care acts that work for you. So, you might say the greatest act of self-care is knowing yourself well enough to know precisely how to meet your unique needs.

The pain of loss can feel very overwhelming and stressful, especially in difficult times like these, where it feels like everyone is grieving in some form or another. It can be easy to push away and invalidate your feelings when comparing them to what others are going through, but it is important to sit down with them and recognize why you are feeling this way. It is crucial to process grief healthily so you can protect your emotional and psychological health.

There are many ways to support yourself emotionally, socially, and spiritually and below are a few techniques to do so. 

Acknowledging Grief

Recognizing that you are experiencing a loss of some sort during these challenging times is one of the first paths to recovery and support for yourself. Rather than comparing your loss to that of someone else, it is essential to realize that you are feeling these emotions for a reason. 

When you bottle up your emotions and make yourself feel invalid because of what someone else may be going through, your trauma and grief will continue to resurface. This will occur until you can sit with these feelings and acknowledge the grief you are experiencing.  

Emotionally 

During times of grief, it is quite common to feel very intense and mixed emotions, and you may feel that you are on an emotional rollercoaster. These emotions can be confusing and can make you feel lost and out of touch with reality and the structure that you used to have. 

Connecting with yourself emotionally is very important through difficult times because it can allow you to properly surface your emotions and understand why you are feeling the way you are. This can be done through journaling and writing out the feelings you are experiencing so that you can analyze them and find patterns or trends. 

Another helpful way to experience your emotions and connect with your mind and heart is through meditation and deep breathing. These practices will help you to stabilize your emotional state and find a balance when your structure feels lost.

Socially 

Without the ability to communicate face-to-face with friends and those who do not live with you during times like these, you can feel very isolated and lonely, which can make grieving much worse. It is tough to feel supported without the ability to interact with humans, so it is essential to recognize that it is normal to feel distant from the world.

With the ability to connect and communicate through technology, you may want to participate in group video chats with friends and group messages to feel as connected and supported as possible. This may help you to grieve your losses and still let out your emotions, so you do not feel like you are going through this alone. Often, it can be beneficial to know and acknowledge that others are going through the same things and feeling the same emotions as you are.

Spiritually 

One of the ways that you can support yourself through difficult times and grieving is to understand and connect with your spirituality. Finding yourself in deep and intense emotions can be scary and may make you feel disconnected to your mind and body.

There are many ways to focus on your mind and spirituality to help you find connection and comfort during times of grief. It can mean spending more time in nature, discovering new breathing techniques to become more present and mindful, or reading spiritual books to learn new things.