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Do you feel you are the victim of bad circumstances? Or maybe that your circumstances have a massive effect on your life? If either of these sounds familiar, then it’s time for you to stop letting your circumstances define you and change your attitude so that you can change your life. 

Your Thoughts Affect Your Attitude 

You may be wondering just how you let your circumstance define you in the first place. This happens because you are thinking negative thoughts about your life because of your perception of what is going on around you. And when you do this, your negative thoughts are reflected in your emotions, actions, and ultimately, your attitude. That’s why the number one way to change your attitude is by changing your thoughts. 

Instead of thinking of the dismal facts surrounding your life, try starting each day with a positive thought and surrounding yourself with positive influences. This will help make your mindset more positive, and in the process,  you may notice that your attitude becomes more positive. 

Your Attitude Affects Your Interactions 

Although you may think that it doesn’t matter what your attitude is like in life, it does. When you have a certain attitude, you also speak and act in a certain way. And others will respond to your words and actions. 

Think of it this way, when you meet someone for the first time and have a negative attitude, they may not want to see you again. But that person could be an important contact to have on the journey to your success, and you just ruined it because of your attitude. This is why it is essential to your success for you to have a good attitude. And if you change your attitude, you’ll be able to change your life. 

Your Environment Is Neutral 

It seems easy to blame your circumstances for what is going on in your life. But your environment, no matter how you look at it, is neutral. It is a blank canvas that you can manipulate any way that you want. 

And you can use your attitude to manipulate this canvas to become anything you want. This means whatever your circumstances may be, you are the artist, and the power to change your life lies in your own hands.

Leave The Past Behind 

If you’ve decided that it’s time to change your attitude to transform your life, as mentioned above, it’s time to think positive thoughts. But beyond just that, it’s also time to leave the past behind. 

This means whatever you may have done, or whatever may have happened to you before, it’s time to forgive so you can move on. You need to know that you are responsible for everything which happens in your life. This means if you want to make your life better, you absolutely can. You don’t need the past telling you who you are or what to do. 

And once you stop thinking about the past constantly, you’ll find that you feel a lot less stressed and ready to face the future which is ahead. 

Overall, taking the leap to stop letting your circumstance define you is difficult. But if you are genuinely committed to changing your attitude, you can guarantee your life will follow. Just remember to watch what you think and how specific thoughts make you act. 

Don’t let your past define you, and instead treat your circumstances as your blank canvas for a new beginning. Before you know it, you will have a new positive attitude and be on your way to becoming the person you want to be.

Do you remember hearing your parents reminding you about the importance of using kind words? Perhaps they repeated to you constantly that your words carry significant weight. They were absolutely correct! 

Many of us understand the importance of using kind words with others, but how often do we follow these guidelines when we speak to ourselves? Everyone has an internal dialogue–the words we speak to ourselves throughout the day–and just as the words we say to others can help or harm them, the words we speak to ourselves can do the same. 

If you think your internal dialogue needs monitoring, how can you begin to control your tendencies to use negative language toward yourself? Check out this step-by-step guide to get started! 

1. Recognize your unkind words, thoughts, and feelings toward yourself. 

The first step you can make toward monitoring your internal dialogue is identifying and labeling unkind words and thoughts. To begin developing a healthier inner dialogue, you need to understand which parts of the conversation need immediate attention. 

If you’re used to being hard on yourself, this can take time. If it helps to keep yourself organized, keep a running list when you catch yourself using unkind words or thoughts toward yourself. If you aren’t sure what could constitute unkind internal dialogue, check out this list of examples: 

• I don’t need to eat that. I’ll screw up your whole day of healthy eating and gain back a ton of weight again.
• I can’t believe I was stupid enough to say that.
• I’m too dumb to ever pass this class.
• I shouldn’t bother applying for that job. They would never hire me.
• I am not good enough to participate in that activity.
• I would look so dumb if I wore this.
• People would laugh at me if I tried to do that activity.
• ….and so on. 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of events that can trigger negative internal dialogue. Things that trigger your unkind thoughts toward yourself can differ vastly from a friend’s. Learning to recognize yours is the first step toward replacing them with healthier internal dialogue. 

2. Find alternative ways to rephrase and frame your thoughts to yourself.

Psychology Today recommends finding ways to rephrase and frame your thoughts to yourself in a more positive way.

For example, suppose you’re experiencing a negative internal dialogue about going on a first date. In that case, you can use the following method to begin swapping out those negative thoughts for healthier, more positive ones:

1. Have the negative thought: “I don’t know why she said she would go on a date with me…. I bet she meant it as a joke.”
2. Recognize that this thought is negative. Also, consider why this isn’t the case. For example, if the person agreed to the date, this most likely means that they’re interested in going and spending time with you.
3. Rephrase your thought to be more positive: “I’m looking forward to seeing how this date is going to go.” 

3. Develop an internal “motivator and complimenter voice.” 

We’re all familiar with our internal “mean” voice. If you have a negative internal dialogue, you probably hear from yours often, unfortunately. However, what if you developed an inner “motivator” voice? 

All the internal voices we hear in our minds don’t have to be negative or mean. Try building a positive one! 

For example, bring out your inner motivator when you’re feeling uncertain, down, or stressed. This can tie in with the step above–your internal motivator voice can step in when it’s time to trash a negative thought and replace it with something positive. 

4. Practice, practice, and practice some more. 

Getting better at anything requires a lot of practice. If it takes you extra time to begin monitoring your internal dialogue, stick with it and continue to implement strategies to make it more positive. Even small baby steps are still movement toward progress–and healthier internal dialogue!