Learning to let go of your resentments and moving on is one of the hardest lessons you have to learn as a human being. But once you do, you’ll go on to live a happier, healthier, and all-around better life.
If you find yourself struggling to let go of your resentments, it’s probably for several reasons. And until you stop engaging in these behaviors, it is unlikely you will be able to forgive the people you resent and learn to move on.
- You Focus On The Negative Instead Of The Positive
Resentment is often born out of a negative situation, such as a betrayal or perceived unfairness. One of the reasons you may be stuck on that resentment is because you can only see the negative part of the event you experienced in that situation.
To remedy this, take a deep breath and start to reason with yourself. Chances are there are positive results which came out of this negative situation. If you need to, write these positive aspects down. Then every time a reminder of the negative pops up in your head, start thinking about the positives instead.
- You’re Bottling Up Your Emotions
It’s a well-known fact that you can’t even begin to deal with your emotions until you recognize them first. So, if you’re still bottling up your resentment about a situation, find someone to confide in, whether this is a friend, family member, or therapist.
Once you’ve discussed how you feel, you will have effectively faced these negative emotions, and you will be able to begin working through them. There are also other ways to relieve these negative emotions you may be feeling. If talking isn’t enough, consider putting your negative energy into a safe hobby such as running or a form of art.
You’ll find that keeping yourself busy will help keep your mind from feelings of resentment and help you work through the emotions simultaneously.
- You’re Stuck In The Past
Whatever resentment you are harboring, it’s based on a past event. And the reason you keep feeling that resentment is because you keep remembering the event in question. Instead of dwelling on the past, you need to start looking forward.
Every time your mind wants to remind you of the memory which leads to resentment, don’t let it. Think of positive thoughts instead. You’ll be surprised how much resentment shrinks when you make the conscious effort not to dwell on it all the time.
- You’re Not Practicing Empathy
You are human, and all humans make mistakes. And chances are, the resentment you are feeling is based on an error made by another human. If you find yourself unable to forgive someone and instead resent them, take a moment to put yourself in their shoes. If you were them, wouldn’t you want forgiveness?
Once you can see a situation from someone else’s eyes, you’ll likely feel different about it, and maybe you’ll finally be able to begin the process of forgiveness.
The road to letting go of resentment is genuinely not an easy one. There are several roadblocks that may hold you back, even if you don’t notice them at first. To start forgiving the people you resent, it’s time to recognize those roadblocks and begin actively working towards conquering them. Only once you forgive those that hurt you will you indeed be able to move on and live a happier and more fulfilling life.