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What do you do when you’re feeling sad or low? Maybe you reach out to friends or stay in bed watching your favorite series on TV. 

Have you ever considered turning to writing as therapy? 

Studies have shown that those who write about their most traumatic or stressful experiences experience better health outcomes.  

The stories we tell ourselves give us meaning in our lives. Writing therapy helps you explore the stories you tell yourself, the feelings associated with those events, and what meanings we can draw from events. 

Writing can be a powerful, low-cost, and easily accessible therapy. Getting your thoughts and words onto pages empowers you to work through difficulties. 

Writing therapy can help you sort through your stories and feelings around grief, anxiety, life transitions, or even stress. Writing therapy gives you a safe space to track your progress and self-reflect. 

While writing may not always be a complete replacement for therapy, it’s still a tool you can use to work through your thoughts. It’s also a tool that can complement your regular therapy appointments. 

Writing therapy is a guided way for you to interact with and analyze events in your life. Through writing therapy, you explore your beliefs around those events - and how your thoughts might trigger certain feelings. 

Follow these journal prompts to start exploring your thoughts:

1. Start your day with Morning Pages. Morning Pages, a daily practice popularized by Julia Cameron, are three pages of unfiltered writing. This daily practice of filling three pages with your unfiltered thoughts can help clear your mind to start the day fresh.
2. The WDEP Model (Wants, Doing, Evaluate, Plan). The WDEP Model can help you think about what you want and whether you are making the choices needed to get what you want. It can help you feel more in control of your daily decisions.

• What do you want?
  
• What are you doing to get what you want?
  
• Is what you are doing helping you get to what you want?
  
• Can you make a more effective plan to get what you want?

1. The ABC Model (Activating Event, Beliefs, Consequences). We tend to think that activating events leads to consequences. This can help you explore your beliefs and reflect on your emotions.

• Activating Event. The event that triggers an emotion or thoughts.
  
• What you believe or think about the activating event. Our beliefs are the part that often subconsciously gets overlooked.
  
• The emotions we feel as a result of the activating event and our beliefs.

1. Self-Contract. Do you want to change something in your life? What do you want to change? Write a contract to yourself about how you will make changes in your life to reach your goal.
   
2. A love letter to yourself. How often do you appreciate and acknowledge yourself? Writing yourself a love letter, or letter of gratitude, can be a perfect space for building a positive relationship with yourself.
   
3. Gratitude. Studies have shown that gratitude has a positive impact on a person’s well-being. Integrating gratitude journaling into your routine can increase your happiness and well-being. 

Writing therapy can be a great tool to investigate your feelings or reflect on what you want in life. You can use writing therapy as a tool to fuel your personal growth. 

Exploring your beliefs and feelings using the journal prompts above can help you work through difficult emotions. By giving yourself a place to process your feelings, you’re allowing yourself to be happier and healthier.

This practice can be an empowering form of self-care! Try it today and feel the difference!

If you’re facing a new phase in your life, you might be feeling a bit nervous. Will it work out? Was this the right decision? Whether it’s a new job or a new relationship, here some tips for making the most of your fresh start. 

1. Don’t Fear Failure

Fear of Failure is America’s number one fear. Many people are so scared they’ll mess up. They never try anything new. And that’s a real shame because unless you take a few risks, you won’t get anywhere, and you’ll never reach your true potential. Reframe Failure as a lesson in what not to do next time. If you make a mistake or something doesn’t work out, you’re a step closer to success. Learn and move on. 

2. Talk to People

Did you know that most opportunities come from outside your usual network? Be open to new possibilities by talking to people you don’t know. From a casual conversation in the coffee shop to chatting to the person in the next seat at a conference dinner, you never know who you’re about to connect with and where that connection might lead. Be approachable, be polite, and make new friends. 

3. Know What You Stand For

Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have your own set of personal values. Make those values conscious, and write your personal mission statement. What are your core beliefs? What is your purpose in life? Once you know what you stand for, you can align your actions and focus on your path to success. Think of it as your roadmap. 

4. Be Aware of Your Personal Biases

Successful people don’t let their personal opinions get in the way of achieving their goals. Your opinions are not the same as your values. Values are the bedrock of what’s important in your life. You can have an opinion about sports or politics or how you prefer your steak, but don’t confuse views with what’s best for you. If a nontraditional opportunity comes up, think it through and work out if it’s in your best interest. 

5. Celebrate Your Successes

It’s essential to celebrate the milestones as you check them off on the way to achieving your goals. Celebrating small successes keeps your motivation and your energy high. It also makes those big life goals seem a bit less daunting. High-five yourself for everything you check off your to-do list, and you’ll soon find yourself celebrating the big wins.

We will inevitably face situations and encounter individuals who generate feelings of anger within us but learning to counter those feelings and manage them appropriately is key to healthy development and coping. 

Anger management exercises are an excellent way to go about this process. Research has shown that anger management exercises are linked to improved well-being and reduce the number of angry outbursts experienced. Thus, learning about anger management exercises and implementing the right combination of exercises is essential to controlling anger and preventing anger from controlling you. 

Deep Breathing 

When we experience negative emotions such as anger, we typically experience a rapid increase in our breathing. A quick and relatively simple way to regulate our mood is to control our breathing. 

Consciously slowing and deepening our breathing can bring us back to a calm state that helps us manage our emotions. You can accomplish this by breathing slowly and deeply from the belly. Repeat as many times as needed to generate calm. 

Physical Activity

Getting the body moving is another way to stimulate calm and manage feelings of anger. Research shows that exercise can reduce stress and anxiety, which can keep anger at bay. 

Regularly exercising each day/week is a great way to deal with anger that may pop up preemptively, but in moments where you feel unexpectedly angry, getting physical on the spot can also be an immediate step to take to deal with how you feel. Something as simple as going for a walk/run or doing yoga can release hormones that stimulate feelings of joy and calm and work to combat anger. 

Progressive Muscle Relaxation 

Progressive muscle relaxation is a way to release tension in the body that tends to get stored up when a person is angry and upset. This technique involves slowly tensing up and then relaxing one muscle group in the body at a time.

An easy method is to start at the top of the head and move down to the toes. By going through this process, tension is gradually reduced, stress released, and anger decreased. 

Avoiding Triggers 

One of the best methods for managing anger is understanding what your triggers are and taking measures to avoid them beforehand. When we know those things and people that tend to lead us towards feelings of anger, we can take proactive steps to limit our interactions, create space/distance, or avoid altogether. 

Active Listening 

Often, the anger we feel towards a situation or individual is because we don’t have a complete understanding of the situation or what is trying to be communicated by the individual. Listening to understand or taking a pause during a situation to assess and process can prevent you from making unfair or faulty assumptions. With a proper understanding of the situation or information, you might find that you’re not upset after all. 

Via these strategies, you can manage and even conquer your anger. For some, just one of these strategies may be effective, while other people might need to combine multiple techniques to deal with their anger. 

Either way, finding what works for you will help you be less reactive and better able to deal with unpleasant situations and challenging individuals in healthy and appropriate ways.

Where do you fit into your day? 

If you're like most people, you're pretty busy. You're already dealing with work, relationships, and a whole lot of day-to-day actions. You're running in every direction at once. How are you supposed to fit self-care into a day like that in the world? 

Thankfully, it's easier than you think. Try these five ways to add self-care into your busy day. 

Ask Some Important Questions

Self-care isn't about over-indulging yourself. Honestly, at its core, self-care is more practical than you might think. You start by asking yourself what you need right now. Meeting these basic needs is at the center of self-care. 

Map it Out

Self-care is never going just to happen. Unless you are intentional, you will never make time for it. By using your calendar and scheduling time for yourself, you are more likely to meet your basic needs. Start small by building in the habits which will help you the most. You can begin by adding regular exercise dates several days a week or making a meal plan to help you eat healthier. As you achieve one goal, add in another. The key is not to overwhelm yourself all at once. 

Figure Out What Comes First

How are you when it comes to priorities? If you're like most people, just deciding where to begin can be difficult. Here you need to figure out the difference between essential and urgent. If something is important and not urgent, you can add it to your schedule. If something is urgent and unnecessary, you need to eliminate these things from your life. But if something is urgent and essential, do this first.

Learn to Say "No"

You should never feel like you have to say "yes" to everything. Sometimes the best form of self-care is learning how to say "no." By setting definite boundaries, you protect yourself from activities that will only leave you drained and give you no benefit at all. 

Do the Small Stuff

We think the little things don't matter, but they do. By ensuring you take care of the basics, such as making sure you get enough sleep, practicing good hygiene, eating right, and exercising, you will keep your body in tiptop form. These things also have a tangible impact on your mental health. 

When we get busy, we tend to easily forget all of these things. When you're making an effort to take care of yourself, you have to be intentional in what you do. Remembering these five tips will go a long way toward keeping you healthy and happy no matter how busy you get.

We all need a little help now and then, so why do we struggle so much asking for it? Are we too stubborn? Are we afraid of being a burden? Regardless of why asking for it is the most direct and reasonable way to get it if you need help. Whether you are overwhelmed at work, not feeling quite yourself, or trying to learn something new, asking for help could change your life. If you are ready to get comfortable asking for help, then check out these nine tips:

1. Everyone Needs Help Once in Awhile

There is nothing wrong with being self-reliant and standing on your own two feet. The reality is, we all need a little help from time to time. Once you recognize and accept this as a fact, asking for help will be easier. 

2. Help Others

Try being a more helpful person in general. This will help you realize that help isn't a burden. Helping others is rewarding in its own right. You will also naturally feel more open to asking for help if you are willing to give unto others. 

3. Know Exactly What You Need

You will find it significantly easier to ask for help when you know what you need. If you can't convey what you need, it's naturally harder to ask for help. Think about what you need in the most specific terms possible. This will also help the other person figure out if they are up to your request. 

4. How Do Your Peers Ask For Help?

Have you ever been asked for help? How did the people ask you? Did you find yourself more willing to accept a particular approach? Reflecting on how people have successfully asked you for help will make it easier for you to create your approach. This confidence should lead to more comfort when asking for help.  

5. Don't Project Your Feelings

When you assume someone doesn't want to help you or are a burden on someone, you project your feelings. Don't let your inner critic make you give up before you even ask for help. You won't know how others feel about helping you until you ask. 

6. Recognize Your Weaknesses

When you recognize and accept your weaknesses, you will find it easier to ask for help. When you know you are especially weak in a particular area, it will feel natural to find someone strong in that area to help you. 

7. Asking for Help Looks Good

Some people are worried that if they ask for help. They might look weak. This isn't necessarily the case. In fact, some research (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/asking-advice-makes-a-good-impression1/) has shown that asking for help makes a good impression. It indicates you are a team player who does things efficiently.

8. How Important is The End Result?

If you are struggling in some area of life, think about your ideal result. Think about it in as great detail as possible. Hold that image of ultimate success in your head. Now ask yourself, is this result worth the discomfort of asking for help?

9. You Have to Do It

You won't get comfortable asking for help unless you do it. You don't want to do it superfluously, but try to make an effort to ask for help when genuinely needed. You will find that the discomfort slips away the more often you ask.

Action Steps:

1. Brainstorm Your Weaknesses. Take some time to reflect and list all of your weaknesses. This will help you feel more comfortable asking for help in these areas.
2. Who Can Help You? Is there anyone in your life who can help you address your weakness? Is there anything you want that an acquaintance could help provide? Make a list of these people.
3. Time to Ask. You have a list of weaknesses and a list of people that could help you. Now you ask someone for help. The more you do this, the easier it will be.

How do you expect to fall in love with someone and experience that love back when you can barely stand yourself? 

You have probably said that to a friend or heard it yourself. If you want to live a fulfilling and abundant life, you have to learn to love yourself and make yourself a priority. Yet, as you read this, you think that this sounds like a selfish way to live. It’s the opposite. When you learn to love yourself and put yourself first, everyone and everything around you benefit from it. When you care enough to nurture your physiological and physical health, you can have the energy for everyone else. What other benefits come from making yourself a priority in your own life? Let’s take a look. 

1. Your Health

Your health is the most apparent benefit. Just think about how you feel after a stressful day. Do you often experience long weeks where you fantasize about how you will spend your weekend only to finally reach the point and struggle to get out of bed? Your body can and will force you to rest if you don’t take care of it. Stress increases your stress levels, breaks down your immune system, and leaves you more likely to pick up every bug going around. Taking care of yourself is part of supporting your physical health and your emotional self, mental health, and spiritual self, too. 

2. Improve Relationships

Friendships, social and familial relationships improve when you take care of yourself. How can you expect anyone to love and respect you when you struggle with loving and respecting yourself? Just as important, how can you expect that when you aren’t your best self? It would help if you weren’t afraid to put yourself first. Make the time to develop and nurture the qualities you need for self-love. When you see the benefits this time has on your life, you will want the people around you to do the same. That allows both of you to be there for the other. You will both be more fun to be around. 

3. The Family Benefits

Let’s focus more on how your family and friends will benefit. How often do you cancel plans or refuse to make them in the first place? You’re just too exhausted to make dinner. You can’t get up early enough to grab breakfast. The people in your life already love you, they want you to be happy, and they want you to be healthy. So, by putting yourself first and making yourself a priority, you can present your best self to them as well. 

4. Happiness

We all want to find happiness. To achieve satisfaction, you will have to go inside yourself. Don’t be afraid to go on a retreat. Don’t think about what others will think if you take a weekend to yourself to reflect. It will be the most relaxing time in your life. Another benefit is you will learn to listen to your body. This will tell you the changes you need to maintain your physical health. It is easier to be emotionally happy with physical health. No one can benefit from knowing the whole you until you know yourself.

5. Work-life

You will be more productive, creative, and a better communicator when looking after yourself. Just think about how energized you feel after a good night’s sleep. Make yourself a priority live the dream by taking the time you deserve. It will have an immense effect on every area of your life, and your peers and employer will see the difference.

Start believing in “Yes I Can!”

On January 1^st, 1983, the World Wide Web (internet) made its public debut. Almost overnight, communication took on a whole new meaning. In a few short years, the population using the internet went from 16 million viewers (1995) to an outstanding 4,833 million viewers as of June 2020. That breaks down to 62 percent of the world population is using the internet on some level daily.

However, with so much time being spent in front of the screens, it is inevitable to find that viewers find themselves more depressed and less motivated. In 2019, Preventative Science Reports concluded that “those who spent more than four hours each day staring at a screen were about twice as likely to have depression.”

As of 2020, early research shows people watch and interact with some form of technology for up to 18 hours per day.

As a society, we rely heavily on other opinions, leadership, and ideas. 2020 has created a new way of learning this information. Often, the data our brains are receiving is negative, especially this year alone. Psychologist Dr. Logan Jones wrote that “Consuming too much of this kind of news, whether actively or passively, can be very toxic, and what you hear has an impact on your mood.”

So, how do we change our thinking patterns?

Affirmation is the practice of constructive thought and the reinforcement of conviction by the present tense writing of statements or phrases. It is the repetition of new concepts and images that help the subconscious mind change. By repeating several optimistic statements makes this technique successful, connecting them with a specific feeling.

Our subconscious mind is necessary to manifest and achieve our objectives, and our subconscious mind governs most of our behaviors. Thus, changing your thoughts and actions to reprogram your brain for new accomplishments.

How does confirmation bias affect your thinking?

Cognitive discrimination includes the brain looking for proof that supports our current convictions and reinforces them. Constant thoughts can lead to action on your brain. If you continually reflect on negative thinking, your brain will see positive and negative information to reinforce the negative belief and behave accordingly.

When exploited positively, this can play an essential role in the success of an entrepreneur. If you start a company with a deep conviction that you will succeed, you will do so and eventually have a greater chance of understanding your beliefs.

Start taking action!

• Write down your goals - Take a pen and write down your short and long-term goals, as well as deadlines and the method for achieving those goals. Divide the objectives into minimal, operational targets and aim to achieve them. You turn the intangible into something concrete by writing down your objectives. Also, include periodic rewards for reaching your goals.
• Be attentive - Distraction and lack of motivation are goal killers. Preparation and eliminating distractions are crucial to keeping focused. Most people attempt to do many different tasks regardless of their value, which leads to a further diversion. Concentrate on the few, not the rest. When needing to focus on your daily career, use the 80/20 law. The Pareto Principle (80/20 rule) is defined as “an aphorism which asserts that 80 percent of outcomes result from 20 percent of all tasks done. In business, a goal of the 80-20 rule is to identify inputs that are potentially the most productive and make them the priority.”  Concentrations are like a muscle; they are continually taxed by information. Periodic breaks during an activity will improve your engagement and productivity.
• Now act - As stated, confirmation bias includes collecting evidence from the subconscious mind that confirms a specific belief. The subconscious mind often tracks, observes, and forms our behavior. In this context, you can work to shift your previous beliefs by repeating and visualizing a phrase, sentence, or statement through affirmation and concentration. 

By taking this step forward, the mind will accumulate additional information to alter your current conviction. American film critic Pauline Kael summed up life by saying, “Where there is a will, there is a way. If there is a chance in a million that you can do something, anything, to keep what you want from ending, do it. Pry the door open or, if need be, wedge your foot in that door and keep it open.”

Practicing gratitude and focusing on positivity is easier said than done, especially if you struggle with anxiety and depression. If you ever find yourself spiraling into the bottomless pit of depression, then get help if you need it.  There’s nothing wrong with talking to a counselor or getting therapy. It’s the smart thing to do.

There’s a lot you can do to get yourself unstuck from all that negativity. Start by acknowledging your feelings and putting them into words. How exactly do you feel? Is it anger or annoyance? Frustration or disappointment? Try to be specific. Dig deep. Yes, it can be painful, and some people prefer to avoid thinking about these feelings, but the first step to getting yourself unstuck is determining exactly where you are emotionally. 

Once you’ve identified the feeling, you can start to work on discovering what caused them. Sometimes the answer is obvious. Other times, not so much. In either case, I encourage you to dig deep because often, the obvious answer isn’t the real root cause. Yes, you may be mad at our spouse for running up the credit card bill, but if you dig deep, you may discover that some underlying core values don’t align between the two of you.

Once you find the real reason for your negative feelings, you can start to work to resolve them. What that looks like will vary from case to case. The critical takeaway here is that it gives you something specific and meaningful to do. You no longer feel out of control or helpless. It’s something you can work with, and that alone will help you think more positively. 

In addition, it allows you to distance yourself a little from the negative feelings. You may still be upset with your spouse, but it also gives you the space to remember everything you love about him or her. It gives you the freedom to act outside of the negativity and have a good relationship while you work things out. And sometimes, it may give you the mental space you need to realize that it is up to you to decide if you want to continue to dwell in the negativity or choose a route of forgiveness. You can’t change everything or everyone. Sometimes your path toward positivity is to acknowledge your negative feelings and then let them go.

Of course, all of this is easier said than done. A journal can be a great tool to help you along the way. Try talking to a close friend or confidant when you feel stuck and can’t see a positive path. An outside perspective can give a lot of clarity. Meditation can be helpful, as well. 

Last but not least, surround yourself with positive people. Get outside and enjoy nature. Spend some time helping others. And don’t forget to remind yourself regularly of everything you have to be grateful for.

There are a lot of troubles facing the world today. With COVID and pandemic anxiety-causing upheaval in our lives, we can easily get lost in all the fear and negativity. This does not help our peace of mind, nor does it promote serenity and inner peace.

For those with kids forced to learn remotely due to the pandemic, this year's back to school certainly looks much different than ever before. Your kids are likely anxious too, and uneasy because their routine is no longer routine.

It is okay to take your mind off all the bad news. It is okay to not watch the news this week. AND it is okay to take some time for yourself and do something fun!

Here are some ideas for five fun things you can do to get your and your family's mind off your troubles.

1. Comedy movie night with your family. Grab the popcorn, get a hilarious DVD, or find one on your favorite movie streaming service and laugh. Laughter is a known healer. According to Mayo Clinic, "Whether you're laughing at a sitcom on TV or quietly giggling at a newspaper cartoon, laughing does you good. Laughter is a great form of stress relief, and that's no joke."

According to Help Guide, "With so much power to heal and renew, the ability to laugh easily and frequently is a tremendous resource for surmounting problems, enhancing your relationships, and supporting both physical and emotional health. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use."

2. Game night. Games are fun to play in groups, and there are many to choose from, including the good ole tried and true charades. Gather your family or a couple of friends and have a ball.

3. Create a hiking treasure hunt. Find a nature spot near your home and go and hide some stuff out there. Create hints for those you invite to find the stuff and give a prize to the first person to gather everything on the list. This is a great activity that you can do with your kids, family members, and friends. It also gets you outdoors where nature can help clear your mind and reduce stress.
   
   According to Stress.org, "A study by Science Direct found that spending time outdoors can help improve mental health. According to their research, nature excursions can help alleviate feelings of time pressure and mental stress."

4. Cook a gourmet meal and have a family formal dinner party. If you like to cook but never had the time, now is a great time to make that gourmet meal. Gather the recipes, shop, and get cooking. Have your family, including the kids, engage in the cooking, and set up process. Get out the fine china and have a formal dinner party with formal attire and all. This is a great experience for the kids to have and something they are not usually exposed to. If you are single, do the same by inviting a couple of friends over.

5. Puzzle Night. You likely have not put a puzzle together for a long time. Puzzles are a great learning tool for the young and old. You need to look at pictures more closely. Puzzles develop the ability to plan, test ideas, and memory skills. You will look at the shapes, color, and size of the pieces. It is a great group activity.

Don't wallow in your troubles, distract your mind, and have some fun! It's good, your mind, body, and spirit!

Don’t fall into blaming

The first thing we typically do when something goes wrong is to blame. We blame others or ourselves, depending on the situation, but blaming does no good whatsoever. It’s a waste of energy and keeps us focused on the problem, not the solution. Notice when you feel you want to blame or self-judge and come back to how you can solve the problem instead.

Don’t give up - let go
You may feel like giving up when it feels like the sky is falling in. But what is the alternative? Rather than giving up the possibility of feeling happy or your dreams for the future, let go of your attachment to them. This means you should go ahead and dream and take action that can make those dreams into a reality. But, don’t buy into the belief that if they don’t happen, that you won’t be able to be happy.

Don’t numb yourself

There are many ways we numb ourselves to the pain we feel throughout our lives. Of course, we could use drugs or alcohol, but even more often, we use keeping incredibly busy or tuning out by watching TV or playing mindless games. Even though it’s not fun, it’s essential for your healing to experience the pain that you feel. Unless you do that, the pain will stay with you in various forms until you allow yourself to feel it. 

Don’t isolate yourself

When we are scared, embarrassed, or worried, our instinct is to hide away to lick our wounds. Of course, there is a time for that - a time when we need to be alone with our feelings and thoughts, but it’s too easy to stay in that place of isolation far longer than is healthy. The less connection we feel to family and friends, the more depressed we become. This almost always increases our feelings of fear and worry. So, make a point to be around the positive, supportive people in your life, even when you don’t feel like it. 

Don’t hang out with negative people

When you feel like life sucks, you are more vulnerable than at other times when life seems rosy. Being around people who are always complaining or blaming is a sure way to make yourself feel worse. Know that it’s okay to say ‘no thanks’ to invitations that you know will end up in a complaining or back-biting session. Instead, get together with people who support your dreams and visions of the future.

Letting go of something that isn’t working does not mean you are a quitter, nor does it mean you are someone who gives up easily when things fail to turn out the way you want them to. “Let it go” is the best advice you can ever get when you are trying to hold on to something that isn’t benefitting you in any way.

Quitting is when you cease to do something that will benefit you in the long run because you feel you have failed too many times or because you think you don’t have what it takes. Nothing good can come out of giving up on something that you have worked extremely hard for or something that can affect positive change in your life.

Of all the many disappointments Jack Ma confronted in his life, getting rejected from 30 jobs was probably one of the worst. He applied for a job at KFC and was the only candidate whose application wasn’t accepted. At some point in his life, Jack Ma decided to start his own businesses and let go of seeking employment. Some of the companies he started failed, but he became extremely successful because of the other companies he built.

Today, Jack Ma has a net worth of over $43 billion. He is one of the most highly-influential people in the world, has many outstanding awards in business, technology, and academics. He is also the co-founder and former executive chairman of Alibaba Group.

Ma knew that letting go of something that isn’t working does not mean you are a quitter. He let go of seeking employment after deciding to create jobs and today, over 100 000 people have jobs because of that decision. He kept working on his businesses when other businesses had failed because he wasn’t a quitter.

Letting Go Is Necessary If You Are Going To Grow And Develop In Your Life.

If you are trying to save a relationship that is hindering your growth or one that’s lowering your self-esteem and causing you to doubt your strengths, you need to let it go. Refuse to dedicate your time and energy to things that do more harm than good. If you are still unsure of what your decision to quit your job, change your field of study, or continue working on your relationship means, here’s what you need to do:

• Consider why you want to stop doing what you are doing. If you wish to resign from your job because you are investing more than you are getting out, then that’s not quitting. If you have received a better offer, go ahead and move on without any feelings of guilt.

On the other hand, if the reason you want to quit working on that big project you were once excited about is that you are tired of failing, going ahead with your decision means you are a quitter. It does not mean you are letting go of something that isn’t working.

• Find out if the choice you are about to make is going to bring positive change in your life. If you are thinking of ending a relationship you have been trying to work on for years without any success, walking away does not mean you are quitting on your partner. It means you have realized the importance of not only looking out for the person you are with but the need to look out for yourself as well. If it brings you peace, a sense of relief, and the drive to go after your dreams like you once did, you need to let the relationship go.

Have you been mulling the idea of creating or reinventing your morning routine? The idea can be intriguing, with so many influencers counting the benefits of waking up early and creating a routine that eases you into your day. Although, morning routines can be daunting: earlier alarms, countless rules, and guidelines about what you should and shouldn’t do, and all that leads to more stress. Keep reading for four quick tips that will help put the do’s and don’ts into focus.

1. Don’t Be Rigid

Part of finding a new morning routine is finding what works for you. It’s a good idea to learn about the morning routines of others, but you can play around with your routine and schedule until you find what works best for you. Your routine is the foundation to your day. The more you change your routine the less of a routine it is. Which means you will not reap the harvest of having a routine. 

2. Stick with It

Motivation is will get you started, but discipline will keep you on your routine till it becomes a habit. Make sure you are waking up the same time every morning and sticking to your routine. After awhile your new routine will feel natural, and it will be something you just do. You will stop reacting to life and stick to your routine. 

3. Own Your Technology

Technology is an integral part of our lives; we use it daily. Many people will tell you not to look at your phone first thing in the morning; however, more than likely your phone is your alarm, but stop checking the weather and emails before you roll out of bed. Your morning reading my be on your phone reading this is okay. Be honest with yourself and your use of technology, not only first thing in the morning but throughout the day. The real question is Do You Own Your Technology Or Does It Own You?

4. Prep Work

Waking up with a plan in place and being able to navigate it is a result of prep work most of the time. Take a few minutes, or thirty, every night to decide what you will be wearing, prep meals, or even get your morning necessities in the right spot. If you want to read a book first thing, make sure your book and blanket are waiting on the couch for you. You can also set out your favorite tea or coffee cup.

Morning routines are challenging to implement. They can also be a great start to your day. Just remember to give yourself time to adapt and to find your own rhythm.

The number one indicator of a student’s success in school and in life after it is not their level of intelligence. It is their work ethic and willpower. Work ethic and willpower will carry you through most anything difficult. Studies now show that you can build and strengthen these two vital parts of yourself. You can start by creating a morning routine that will set you up for success throughout your day. 

1. Same Wake-Up Time

Rising at the same time every morning helps to train your body and mind to make waking up easier. Doing this may not sound like fun in the beginning, but once you try it, you’ll never go back. Why? Because your body becomes regulated when you get up at the same time every day so that your sleep/wake cycles are on track. You’ll feel less fatigued and sleepy throughout your day.

2. Meditation

Starting your day with meditation has two benefits. First, it is an easy and slow way to start your day (you don’t even have to get out of bed). Second, it will allow you to reflect on your thoughts. Bonus, if those are positive thoughts about your day. If they are not positive thoughts with meditation, they will become positive.

3. Workout

Morning workouts are a great way to get your blood pumping and your mind clear for the day ahead. Working out will most definitely test your willpower, as well. 

4. Breakfast with Others

Be it friends, family, or even a coworker, eating breakfast with others prioritizes the relationships in your life and will help to put your day into perspective. 

5. Make a To-Do List

Writing a to-do list of your day’s tasks and then prioritizing the list will set your intentions for the day and give you a plan of action. Remember, your to-do list can be for work and personal. 

6. Say Good Morning

Saying good morning to those you pass in the morning has a direct benefit to you and the people you meet. It may be the lift both of you need at the moment. When you say “Good Morning” to someone, they will feel an obligation to say “Good Morning” to someone else. 

7. Keep Learning

You may not have time to add learning into your morning routine, but at least throw a book in your work bag. Continued learning, be it for any area of your life, is a process that takes time and commitment. You only benefit from it. 

You may not have enough time in your morning to incorporate all seven of these routines to start. Heck, you may only have time for one or two. The point of this article is to give you a proven morning routine that will set you up for success. You probably do a couple of these already. Make a decision to add at least one more to your morning routine tomorrow.

Are you tired of everyone and their brother on the internet telling you that you need a morning routine? Well, That won’t stop anytime soon. They do have a valid point in the importance of starting and maintaining a morning routine. A set of processes that you can rely on and complete every morning do have many benefits. All those benefits can be summed up into three categories.

1. The Power of Starting Your Day

Charles Spurgeon is quoted in saying, “Begin as you mean to go on, and go on as you began. . .” The start to your day, your “begin,” sets the tone for your entire day. Having a process to follow that sets you up to feel your best throughout the day will aid you in the “go on” portion of your day. A morning routine that is comprised of healthy habits will help.

2. Your Willpower’s Last Straw

Science shows that much like your ability to keep your eyes open, your willpower also has a circadian rhythm. Your ability to make positive choices is most reliable in the morning when you first wake up and naturally decreases throughout the day. Making positive choices, therefore, is easier in the morning, so you are more likely to create a healthy morning routine as opposed to an evening routine. 

3. The Nature of Ritualization

Have you ever noticed that certain things cause you to do other certain things? Getting out of bed triggers your desire to drink coffee, smelling the coffee makes you want to do your morning readings. The warmth of the coffee your drinking makes you think about yesterday’s things you can add to your gratitude list. Humans, much like Pavlov’s dog, are natural at ritualization. You may not drool when you hear the doorbell, but the sound of your coffee maker probably prompts you to do something. Mornings are full of these “bells” that will trigger you to do another step. A healthy morning routine is nothing more than a series of small rituals that you perform, and these will carry into your day. 

If there was any doubt before as to whether it was in your best interest to start compiling and performing a morning routine, you shouldn’t be now. Morning routines are fairly natural processes that humans go through; you need to make the conscientious decision to create one that is best for you.

Most morning routines you find online take hours to complete. Thirty minutes of physical activity, three pages of Morning Pages, or twenty minutes of meditation. Most people can not find that kind of time in the morning to start. This gives you your excuse not to start at all. However, in only ten minutes, you can create a morning routine that will put you in the right mindset to conquer your day. Read below to learn a few time-saving practices you can incorporate into your morning. 

Minute 1 – Drink the Water

Start keeping a large glass of water beside your bed. Before you even get out of bed, drink the dang water. Your body is dehydrated because during the night your body is repairing itself, and you need to replenish the water you expel through sweat and urine. Drinking water will also help reduce the morning fog and grog that follows so many into their workday despite multiple cups of coffee. 

Minutes 2-3 – Do the Breathing

Your body is rehydrating now take a few minutes to do simple breathing exercises. This is as easy as timing your breaths to take six to ten deep breaths through one minute. Timing your breaths will force you to focus on your breathing and your body. Helping you to wake up and calm yourself for your day.

Minutes 3-6 – Stretch the Body

Some simple stretching will get your blood flowing, and your body has woken up. This will also help to ease you into the process of getting ready and the day ahead. Stretching has long term benefits as well including better circulation and flexibility overall. 

Minutes 6-9 – Find Gratitude

Take this time to find the things on what you are grateful for. Writing your gratitude down is not necessary but is very helpful. Just take a few moments to single in on aspects of your life you are thankful for and why. This will refocus your eyes to put a positive spin on your day and keep you present through the difficult moments. 

Minute 10 – Visualize the Success

Visualizing the successes you wish to have through the day will cement them in your mind and help you to become more confident. These can be successes for the day (a successful meeting) or long-term successes (finishing that half marathon or saving up a down payment on a house). Dream boards are extremely helpful in cementing your goals. 

To start you may not have hours to devote to morning routines, but maybe you can spare ten minutes of your morning to starting off on the right foot. As you continue every morning with this 10-minute start to your day, without trying you will find you are expanding on different parts of your routine. Your new morning routine will improve your attitude and performance throughout your day.

Deciding on what to add to and take out of your morning routine can be difficult. For starters, you can’t do it all every morning. You must be selective about the activities you undertake. Keep reading for seven scientific back ideas to add to your morning routine.

1. No Snooze

Hitting snooze does more to confuse your body than help it. While those extra minutes may feel like a relief, they are making the process of getting out of bed more difficult when you finally make the move. And the adverse effects can last for hours after you are up and moving. 

2. Make Your Bed

Making your bed is an easy win first thing in the morning. Heck, you can even add this to your list and cross it off later if you want. This has the benefit of being a mental success immediately in your day. 

3. Sunshine (if possible)

If possible, soak up some sun first thing in the morning. Sunshine is a signal to your body that the day is starting and that it should wake up. If the real deal isn’t possible, you can consider investing in a sun lamp to use in the morning.

4. Move It

Physical activity can help increase memory and concentration, so why not start your day off with it. This can be as gentle as walking or yoga, and as short as twenty minutes. Find an activity and time allotment that works for you. 

5. Meditate

The act of meditation is relaxing to the body while also improving physical health. Meditation can seem a little “woo woo” to many, but it can have significant physical and mental benefits. You can find a plethora of guided meditations on apps and podcasts.

6. Goals

Taking the time to handwrite your goals every morning can cement them in your mind. These do not have to be huge life goals. Your goal can be as simple as reading an article at The Good Life Mall or as big as running a marathon. Just take a few moments to commit it to paper.

7. Hydrate

Your body spends all night recovering and using the stores of hydration and calories you consumed during the day. Drinking water first thing in the morning helps to replenish your body and sets you up for a day without the dehydration fuzzies. 

Before committing to adding or subtracting anything from your morning routine, consider the benefits of each practice individually.

Most who write in a journal regularly do so to figure out some variation of “Who am I?” While this may not be the specific focus of your entries each day, it is the reason for keeping a journal, in many cases. Journaling is a way to discover yourself, clarify who you are and what you believe, figure out what you want, and uncover your real self. Journaling helps you read your thoughts, which leads to understanding your true identity even more clearly.

The Importance of Self-Identity 

The most important task we can pursue as humans is to know ourselves well and connect who we are with what we do. Journal writing is an activity that helps you achieve both things. But why is self-identity so important? Here are a few reasons.

Self-Identity is Key to Accomplishing Your Goals 

Knowing yourself is crucial to realizing and controlling your thoughts, emotions, and actions in your daily life. Your identity guides everything you do, including your reasons for doing them. When you do not know yourself, you make decisions based on whims or because of other people, not based on what is important to you. So, self-identity is crucial if you want to set goals for yourself that are meaningful and important to you as well as for helping you engage in the actions and decisions that will help you realize these aims.

Self-Identity Promotes Happiness and Self-Love 

It is impossible to love yourself when you do not know who you are. Understanding your real identity is necessary if you want to appreciate who you are, be content with the life you create, and learn to love everything about yourself. And the happier you are with yourself, the more love and understanding you have to share with the rest of the world. Loving yourself is crucial if you ever hope to love others.

Self-Identity Helps Create Balance in Your Life

Contentment in life comes when all parts of your existence find balance and harmony with each other. When your values and beliefs are congruent with your actions and emotions, when your goals are consistent with your decisions, when your motivations are in sync with your habits, you will enjoy contentment. But this type of balance is not possible without knowing yourself and understanding your identity. 

Journaling for Self-Identity

 Writing in a journal every day will increase your understanding of who you are as well as help you clarify those parts of your identity that are not aligned with other parts of your life. Journaling helps get you in touch with who you are, but it is also a way to see how your identity changes and evolves. 

Whether you are considering taking the leap and start journaling or you already write in your journal every day and are looking for ways to use your habit to improve your self-identity, then these prompts may help. The following are journal prompts that can promote self-identity and help you understand yourself better. Happy writing!

• If everyone was paid $10 an hour, what would you do?
• What is something you have always wanted to do but haven’t (yet)?
• What are the biggest regrets in your life?
• In the coming year, what about your life that you would like to change?
• What is your biggest strength? How do you use this in your life?
• Do people see you the way you try to portray yourself?
• Who are the important people in your life, and why are they important to you?
• What do you think is something others misunderstand about you?
• What are you most afraid of?
• What is one squeaky gate in your community that you would like to oil?
• What is the best advice you have ever received?
• What is your most challenging flaw, and what are you doing to improve in this area?

The most misunderstood aspect of self-care is this – it doesn’t need to be time-consuming, it doesn’t need to cost you money, it doesn’t mean making drastic life changes. Self-care can be small and still serve you in powerful ways. Even the simplest things can provide you with what you need. With that in mind, check out this list of small, influential acts of self-care.

• Recycle Content

Recycling isn’t just for the environment. You can recycle content, too. If there is a movie, television show or book that you love, watch it again. Sometimes there is comfort in familiarity. You don’t have to sit at the edge of your seat, waiting for the ball to drop – you know every twist and turn, and that feels good. 

• Coffee on the Porch

Take a cup of coffee and sit on the front porch and watch the traffic as it passes by your house. Or read a book. Maybe just rock. Quiet time is a vital part of our lives. Most people deprive themselves of this activity. Go-go-go is okay when you are supposed to be moving, but not when you have quiet time. There was a time when I thought people who sat on the porch were wasting time. Now I know it is an essential part of keeping your sanity and being productive.

• Let it Go

We live in challenging times – the political world is raging on, and we get much of our news from social media. It’s easy to get sucked into arguments with friends and even strangers. Let it go. You won’t change any minds this way, but you will stress yourself out. Don’t look for fragmented news on social media! Most of it is taken out of context and twisted to make the writers point.

• Compost

Why not take an extra minute or two to toss your old veggies in the compost pile? How is this an act of self-care? You’re spending time in nature, even if it for just a few moments. It will help you fight stress, feel connected to the earth, and leave you feeling more grounded. 

• Meal and Movie

It’s your day off, treat yourself to a trip to the movies, grab yourself some popcorn and candy, and relax at the movies. But first, go out to eat at a restaurant by yourself. Dining by yourself will be uncomfortable at first. That is okay. 

• Organize

There is something stress-relieving about organizing. It could be separating your DVD collection into each genre before alphabetizing it. It might be doing the same, but with old records. It’s just taking steps to complete a mindless activity that allows you time to pause and reflect. Unorganized areas are stressful. If you are like me, and this activity is torture, get someone else to organize your space. 

• Unplug

If you feel on edge, then unplug. Forward your calls to voice mail, put your phone to the side and allow yourself time to zone out. That doesn’t mean chilling out in front of a television or watching movies all day. This is a total unplug. There is a time and place for the other options. This is about letting yourself daydream. It’s great for your brain. It’s when creativity sparks, and your mind chills out. Let it. 

• Disrupt It

If you notice yourself having negative thoughts, then vocally disrupt them. Of course, this is something you might skip if there are other people around you. If that’s the case, you can opt to disrupt them internally. Regardless of which way you proceed, it’s an effective way to stop self-doubt in its tracks.

Most of these acts will be uncomfortable at first. Practice them till they become a routine part of your life. You will thank yourself.

When you seek to find a life of completeness and harmony, you absolutely must address the spiritual aspect of your life. Without personal spirituality, you lose purpose, drive, and meaning in your life. You cannot become your best version of yourself, nor are you able to fully tap into your gifts without it. In the end, without the spiritual, you lose your desire to give back to the world, to make it a better place. With so much at stake, is it any wonder that finding your spiritual path is so crucial in living a complete life?

Thankfully it’s not hard to find. You begin, with a handful of simple steps: 

Pay Attention to Coincidence

When you find a moment in your life where everything lines up and falls into place, embrace the experience. This is synchronicity, and from it, you gain a fantastic feeling of affirmation. It’s moments like this where you find what you’re born to do. 

Pursue Passion

When you find something interesting to you, grab hold and see where it takes you. It is in a passion where you find purpose as you pursue what you feel you were truly born to do. 

Look for the Bigger Picture

When you step back and see how things are coming together in your life, it can seem a little daunting at first. Finding the reason for how things have unfolded can be a bit intimidating when you consider there are forces bigger than you who have arranged it in just such a way. Here’s where you need to be courageous as you follow the blueprint already laid out for you.

Accept Roadblocks

Sometimes things crop up to stop you in your tracks. When there’s no real reason for why things aren’t working, maybe it’s a gentle nudge from something outside of yourself, letting you know it’s time to move in a different direction. It’s here where you need to learn to let go. 

Look for Heroes

You are attracted to specific individuals for a reason. When you meet someone you wish to emulate, that you look up to, it’s because they’re speaking to something in your life you need. Ask yourself what lessons you’re learning from this encounter and pursue the path that flows from the answer you’re given. 

This is an exciting journey. After all, it’s not every day you figure out who you were born to be. Remember, this is not an overnight process. Your spiritual path is a journey that will take a lifetime. The rewards, though, are fantastic as you move forward on this new path.

Scientists and doctors describe emotional health as how well you control your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. People with good emotional health are aware of their emotions, both positive and negative, and know how to deal effectively with them.  Your habits can help or hurt your emotional health by creating a positive or negative mindset and affecting your actions. 

Habits develop over time to the point where you aren’t aware you do them.

 They become automatic and part of your personality. These habits can harm emotional health: 

• Negative Self-Talk
• Negative Surroundings
• Perfectionism 

Negative Self-Talk 

Self-talk is your beliefs about yourself and your abilities.  It’s the quiet voice inside of you telling you that you can or can’t accomplish something.  Negative self-talk can become an internal repetition of reasons you think you can’t succeed. 

Negative self-talk comes from previous failures and from listening to the poor opinions other people have about you.  Everyone fails sometimes, but when you accept those failures as the best you can do and don’t work toward improving yourself, doubts about your abilities become negative self-talk.  Thoughts and emotions like, “I can’t do that,” and “I’m not good enough for that” are messages of negative self-talk. 

Unfortunately, some people try to make themselves feel better by speaking badly about others.  Constructive criticism helps you improve, but negative comments from others listened to long enough will be incorporated into your self-talk.  Do not tell yourself you are polite by listening to them. If you respect yourself, you will remove yourself from the conversation—some people you will need to love from afar. Your future depends on your decision! 

Negative self-talk harms your emotional health in multiple ways.  It lowers your self-esteem and makes you less likely to try something new that you might succeed in achieving.  These missed opportunities reinforce your negative beliefs and add to your negative self-talk.  Letting negative self-talk stop you from reaching your goals isn’t a healthy, effective way to deal with your emotions or thoughts. 

Negative Surroundings

A positive mindset is based on optimism.  To grow as a person and achieve more in life, you need to have a positive mindset when faced with life’s challenges.  Your surroundings support your mindset.  If your surroundings are negative, you won’t get the reinforcement you need to become and stay positive. 

Schools, businesses, and organizations adopt mascots, mission statements, and mottos to create positive surroundings.  It would be best if you had positive surroundings in your daily life too.  Negative influences can develop into a habit that harms your emotional health.

Imagine your house or apartment has bare walls and is full of clutter and unfinished projects.  Now imagine your living space full of cherished mementos, pictures of fun activities, and motivational and inspirational posters.  Living in the first space doesn’t support your emotional health because it doesn’t contain anything positive for you to reflect on and only reminds you of your failures to complete your goals.  If living in this type of space has become a habit, you are harming your emotional health.

The people you spend time with and the books, movies, and music you use for entertainment may also be part of a habit of negative surroundings.  Do your friends spend all their time gossiping instead of planning for the future?  Do you look for entertainment from media about growing and being a better person?  Changing your habits of where and how you spend your time affects your emotional health.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a habit that can affect your emotional health through stress and unintended consequences.  Of course, everyone wants things to work out the best way possible, but expecting or demanding perfectionism in every situation isn’t realistic or healthy.  Perfectionism becomes a habit when you can’t accept sincere efforts or partial rewards from yourself or others.

Striving to do better is a worthwhile goal.  However, expecting yourself to be perfect the first time you try something only hurts your emotional health.  When your efforts help you achieve a goal, the fact that you aren’t perfect at something along the way doesn’t matter.  Too many people add stress and worry to their lives by trying to be perfect.

Expecting perfection from others may have unintended consequences.  Although you may encourage someone to do well, expecting them to be perfect can ruin your relationship with them.  Other people often view perfectionists as unsympathetic, rude, or mean.  You can support your emotional health with help from others.  If you let your perfectionism push people away, you lose the support you need.  

Psychologists have shown that your habits affect your emotional health and mindset.  Negative self-talk, negative surroundings, and perfectionism are habits that allow you to avoid and change to improve your emotional health and succeed in life. 

I wrote a book to help you change your self-talk. Use the link below to get your copy.